It seems that the term “emotional maturity” is really playing well into my ego. I want to be mature. I certainly don’t want to be immature. So, it’s given me a fresh look at “being centered” – a term I’ve long used, but now am looking at in a new light. (It’s nice when the ego inspires good behavior.)
So, when a certain spouse of mine said something in passing that infuriated me, I still felt angry & all hot in the face and I wanted to say something right off --- that certainly wasn’t very mature. But, instead, I had not very mature thoughts and facial expressions (thankfully the other party had left the room).
So, I still felt anger. (And, it seems that even enlightened folks feel anger.) However! I let it pass by. I experienced it fully – but not “out of control.” “Out of control” would have been the “emotional immaturity” – getting carried away into the emotion and saying things I’d later regret or steaming inside because I wasn’t saying things that I wanted to say --- that’s not the same as “emotional maturity.”
Instead, because it happened to be the time I usually meditate in the evening, I went and sat and meditated for 20 minutes and that gave me time to just “be” with the experience. (without the opportunity to be in reaction mode.) And, insights came flooding into my head like “we all say things in passing at times that infuriate others without intending to do so.” And “from the other person’s perspective, I could see that this would be upsetting.” And “this, too, shall pass.”
And, when I saw that spouse a few minutes after my mediation he just gave me a big hug. And I said, “apology accepted.” (Although, given the smirk on his face, I don’t think there was any thought of apologizing for there was probably nothing to apologize for from his perspective. – and that’s fine, too.)
Love!
