Eating in Sacredness

Today I saw myself starting to tip over a line from eating for health into eating without any awareness, without any sacredness. What a shift when Chetana and I pause in our meal (because often I forget to start the meal this way) and we chant OM together 3 times.

She has a lovely "O" and then closes her mouth for "MMM" with a smile. 

Most times, after I've finished the third OM, she does a few more on her own.

It's amazing how just that stopping to chant OM and bringing the mind to the present, focused on the food, is so calming and uplifting. I eat more slowly. I notice what we're eating. I eat with a smile.

As a child in Hebrew Day School we learned to say a blessing before and after each meal. In fact, before and after every act in our daily routine from opening our eyes in the morning and stepping out of bed to going to the bathroom -- of course that made us chuckle as kids -- to finishing the day with a prayer before bed - The Shama.

I did it all as a "good girl" would, but at that age I didn't have a sacredness attached to my actions. Simply, I was repeating what was "right" and "good." 

Now, a bit older (40 in Feb!), I look to have myself remember to pause and make the mundane sacred, bringing my awareness to every act.

With Chetana around it's quite fun. We remember to say goodbye and thank you to our tooth brushes, we stop to tell one another we hear an airplane over head, we pause in our meals to call out to the crows, we pick up tiny specks of dirt form the floor and throw them in the trash. Life is full of minute precious details. 

When Chetana makes the sign for "butterfly" when she sees a beautiful painting for the first time or when she points excitedly in the store at a book on the shelf and says "boon boon" having recognized a-just-like-home copy of "Goodnight Moon," or stands up in her bed first thing in the morning making kissing sounds to let us know she's awake...well, life is full of beautiful details.

Jai Gurudev. Victory to the Big Mind

Keeping Throwing The Light

While speaking to a group on December 16th, Sri Sri shared the importance of Throwing Light on Life:

Keep all other concepts on one side and just look into your own life; what have you learnt in your life?
What are your experiences?

Look at all that you thought as truth that later turned to be not true. What are the experiences which meant something at that time but after sometime meant nothing? Observe how your judgements were all just bubbles on the surface of water; they had no facts, they had no stance. 

You had judgements and you thought that is how it is and later on you thought, ‘oh! It was just my judgement but not the way things really are.’ 

So your vision broadens, sharpens and heightens. That which broadens your vision, sharpens your vision and heightens your vision is ‘Swadhyay’.
Swa means oneself, studying one's own 'Self'. Throwing light on your own ‘self’, examining your own ‘self’, this is essential.

By this introspection you blossom and that inner being is unlocked. Then one begins to understand everything - there is one light, which is within me. Then you find the way and truth dawns and then you recognize that which is in all the Holy Scriptures. Otherwise just by hearing the Holy Scriptures and saying it like a parrot has no value. It has to become alive in our life and for that Swadhyay is essential. 

Throw light on your own mind, on your own intellect, on your own life and the events of your own life, this is very important. You will be amazed by just throwing light on events of your life what happens. How you were, what concepts you had, how limited your thinking was and now how vast it has become. How your behaviours were and how your behaviours have changed. How your sense of belongingness was and how it has changed now.

Read more at What Sri Sri Said Today.

If You’re Happy & You Know It…Just Go About Your Day As Usual.

When will you be happy?

And now the question… what is “happy”?

So far “happy” has meant “uncontrollable-giggly, a-little-off-center goofy, cheeks-hurt smiley.”

But what if that’s something else ---  call it “having the sillies.”

And, what if “happy” is– copasetic, content, at ease, centered, focused, uplifted, connected.

And, what if “happy” as defined here even underlies other emotions that pass through? Can I be experiencing anger and be content, at ease, centered, focused, uplifted, connected?  Hmmmm… I think “yes” for most of that list.

Can I be frustrated? And “happy?”  Can I be goal-oriented and “happy”?

Yes.

Before I had Chetana I would have told you that “I don’t need anything to be happy.” But that was really an “intellectual answer” not a “knowledgeable answer.” Meaning, I know I would get an “A” on the test by answering “I don’t need anything to be happy.” However, I didn’t really know what that meant. I thought I did, though.

Then, in walks (well…out comes) Chetana. And a week after she’s born I’m sitting at the edge of my bed and the thought comes “now what?” For 7 years having a baby had been my on-again/off-again focus. Now, here I was and, well, I didn’t feel endless exuberance as I had expected. Life hadn’t suddenly become “perfectly perfect.” I felt, well, the same.  And that’s when I realized…”nothing can make me happy.”

Well, to be honest, that is what I thought. “Nothing can make me happy. Not even having a baby has made me happy. There’s no hope of my every being happy.”

But, remember, here happiness was defined in my head as “ever-present smile, never angry, never upset, nothing can throw me off center, life is all rosey.” And, well, I wasn’t feeling that post-partum. 

And, well, I think I’ve been a little miffed about that.

And then, tonight, in passing my dear friend was here making dinner and cleaning my home (it’s true!), and she said, “I’m so happy these days.”

What? But you grumble like other folks and you have body aches like other folks and you have goals like other folks. Life isn’t “perfectly perfect.” You’re not “done” and just ready to sit back and relax. How can you say you’re “happy?”

Then, here I am 2 hours later and having meditated and pushed myself in my “throwing light on life” to not pick up the easy-pickin’s of realizations for the day, but to dig a little and really grow from the exercise. And there it is --- I’ve hooked the word “happiness” on to something I’d now call “a little bit off kilter.” And I’m re-hooking the word “happiness” on “calm, centered, at peace, content” WITH all the emotions that come and go, some of which I cling on to and some of which I push away (call them “positive” or “negative” emotions, if you’d like).

Bottom line, I have it all, and, I’m happy.

This is what happy looks like. 

Every Day's a New Day

[note: i'm just going to pick up here like i never left off...]
What light is there to throw today?
1. Headstands. I've long grumbled that I don't know how to do headstands properly. Today - instead of my usual "I'm grumpy because everyone's doing headstands and i can't" - I called out to my teacher with a smile and asked "Cindy, could you show me how to do headstands?" EGO: Ha Ha Ha! I dismissed you! As Dear Guruji says -- Ego can't be gotten rid of, but you just keep it in your pocket.

She showed me how. I smiled and laughed with her. Silly silly.

2. Being 100%: Chetana needed my full attention today. I just sat on the floor with her and engaged in the activities she initiated. I listened to what she had to say. I spoke clearly and directly to her about what I was doing and why. Pretty cool. I'd been feeling rather lonely recently. Seems that has a lot to do with living in my head ... i.e., brooding over the past and planning planning planning for the future. Yes, reviewing the past & planing the future are necessary activities...But, we all know when enough has crossed over enough and we are simply a broken record of repeated thoughts - which is the definition of worry.

3. Chetana says "opposites": it's the cutest thing to here. I highly recommend saying the word "opposites" out loud and enjoying that "s-t-s" sound and kind of dropping the "o's" out of the equation. It seems to please her as much as saying "pasta" - here, too, dropping the "a" in the middle and repeating the sound several times over. Any suggestions of similar sound-involved words to introduce her to?

If you are chanting you cannot be depressed.

This lovely dose of insight comes form Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's daily wisdom posted from his December 5, 2011 talk in India. Enjoy!

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:

If you are chanting you cannot be depressed.

When you chant ‘Om’ it calms down those centers of emotions and once that is done the depression vanishes. 

So if you are depressed it is because you are so engrossed in the material world. Day and night thinking what about me you get depressed. 

What you should do is, in the morning when you wake up, ask, ‘what service can I do? How best I can be useful to all these people or to the world; to this knowledge or to this organization.' If none of that comes, then how can I be useful to Guruji. At least think that way. 

If your focus is on this direction and you continue you’re chanting and your meditation knowing this life is temporary and everything here vanishes, and chant ‘Om Namaha Shivaya’, you cannot be depressed. 

Depressive negative energy will simply vanish. 

That is why in ancient days people would do Sandhyavandanam three times. 

In the morning you wake up, look at the Sun and think of the beautiful day it is going to bring you and thank the Sun for life and for the planet earth. Our life and planet is dependent on the Sun, so you thank the Sun.

Again in the afternoon you do Sandhyavandanam and again in the evening you thank the Sun for the beautiful day and feel connected to the whole universe.

When you do this, there is no question of getting depressed. When you don’t know that you are connected with the whole universe and you think you are just some small person wanting small little things and you are bickering on your own weaknesses saying, I am weak, I don’t know this and I don’t have that. I sit for meditation and I did Kriya but nothing happens to me. This type of bickering in the mind shows the small mindedness. You have to come out of that. You take responsibility, I will come out of this and I’ll dedicate my life.

All these people who want to commit suicide, I tell them it is such stupidity. You want to commit suicide because you are so bent upon your own pleasure, your own happiness, and your own comfort. You dedicate your life for a greater cause then depression will vanish.

When you say, I am not going to take my life away but I am going to dedicate it for the world, for humanity, for the country then so much happiness comes. 

Come what may I am going to fight.

I think all the depressed people should be made to realize this truth and chanting will elevate them. 

Either you dedicate yourself to the world, to the nation, to culture, to dharma or you dedicate yourself to God, to the Supreme Being, to the sacred knowledge.

That dedication can pull you out of this rut. 

Day Seven: I’m Happy Because! Because!

It turns out that I complain a lot – mostly in my head when I’m moving about the house cleaning up or thinking about some situation. I spend a lot of time blaming and complaining. Ever feel tired, dreary and exhausted and wonder why? Spend the day complaining and you’ll find out!

Remedy?  Gratitude! And, taking responsibility. I’m going with gratitude expressing right now.

How? A wonderful practice: List 100 Things You Are Grateful for.

Well…here’s a start…

·      The color purple

·      little girl giggles

·      dogs who love to play fetch

·      the color organge

·      Trees

·      Bees

·      oranges

·      my mom

·      my dad

·      my sister

·      my brother

·      people who wait patiently behind me in traffic when I don't see the light is green

Day Six: I'm on Film!

Truth be told, I’d rather be writing a humorous article about how I feel we must be the “bummer” house on the block for Halloween as we hand out Pretzels & Halloween Pencils! Yay! But, there’s more light to be thrown on today…

Today I experienced “if you’re not doing it my way, I am going to pout & be moody & be passive aggressive.” Yes, that was not the highlight of my Emotional Maturity. It was also not the first time.

I popped out of it a wee bit more quickly than I have in the past. Kudos to me. However, when you’re the mother of a little sweet child, it does seem very immature to be pouting around the house because “things are going the way I want them to!”

Luckily Chetana was in view most of the time which kept me from behaving in a keenly Emotionally Immature manner. However, it didn’t prevent the full show from happening.

Just this morning I was reading Sri Sri’s analogy of life being like a film. There is only one light that projects through the film images and depending on what’s on the film, that’s what we see – a villain or a hero, etc. It’s remembering that it’s all the same light or consciousness just playing different roles. That image helped bounce me back a bit. Now I’m just lolly-gagging in “woe is me. I did it again. I said I wouldn’t and I did.”

Well, holy moly kiddo, it’s done. Done. That’s just the same light projecting over here and playing that same role. OK. Done. Move on. Pray for the act to be up and let it be. 

We're giving out Halloween Carrots!

Day Five: Go Boldly, Brave Explorers!

Our end-of the-day bath time is very snuggley & often ends in a bit of challenge as Chetana decides it's time to nurse when she has one arm in her pajamas and a diaper barely on. We struggle a bit. Until we discovered..."Space Girl Sandhu!" She loves the "count down to blast off" and the tales of the brave adventures of Astronaut Sandhu! (The people of Earth are so grateful to her, but they ask if she would please wear her space suit & helmet &, indeed, her diaper.)

Since becoming a Mommy I’ve had an entire shift of skills, responsibilities, daily routine, conversation topics, interests, perspectives, awareness, pace of life, priorities, conviction, devotion, earnestness, determination, pain tolerance, love and steadfastness.

I’m on-goingly faced with new challenges and I’ve gained a skill related to that situation. I used to be scared when I saw a new challenge in my life, “Oh, my! It’s too much! I’m overwhelmed.” Well, it was true. Based on the skills I had up until that point, the new challenge was overwhelming, and “too much.”

Now? I look at new situations arising and I find myself instantly thinking, “Well, let’s go see what skills I have that I didn’t know I had. Let’s go discover more about myself.”

This was the situation when we headed up North to Canada to the beautiful Art of Living Ashram. Again and again my thoughts would start going down hill to “this is too much! I can’t handle shaking up Chetana’s entire schedule, not knowing where she’ll take naps, what she’ll eat, how well she’ll sleep…what if…”

And then, very peacefully, I’d have a lovely, loving voice say, “Let’s go see what skills we have that we haven’t discovered yet. We’re going to grow!”

I think this is the voice in which I  speak to Chetana when I whisper in her ear while we’re bundled together in a mommy-baby carrier and heading off to a new adventure. “Come, Chetana. Let’s go have an adventure. Let’s go discover something new.”

Yahoo for childhood-motherhood! We’re co-discoverers! 

Day Four: Even More Mature! (Go, Ego, Go!)

It seems that the term “emotional maturity” is really playing well into my ego. I want to be mature. I certainly don’t want to be immature. So, it’s given me a fresh look at “being centered” – a term I’ve long used, but now am looking at in a new light. (It’s nice when the ego inspires good behavior.)

So, when a certain spouse of mine said something in passing that infuriated me, I still felt angry & all hot in the face and I wanted to say something right off --- that certainly wasn’t very mature. But, instead, I had not very mature thoughts and facial expressions (thankfully the other party had left the room).

So, I still felt anger. (And, it seems that even enlightened folks feel anger.)  However! I let it pass by. I experienced it fully – but not “out of control.” “Out of control” would have been the “emotional immaturity” – getting carried away into the emotion and saying things I’d later regret or steaming inside because I wasn’t saying things that I wanted to say --- that’s not the same as “emotional maturity.”

Instead, because it happened to be the time I usually meditate in the evening, I went and sat and meditated for 20 minutes and that gave me time to just “be” with the experience. (without the opportunity to be in reaction mode.) And, insights came  flooding into my head like “we all say things in passing at times that infuriate others without intending to do so.” And “from the other person’s perspective, I could see that this would be upsetting.” And “this, too, shall pass.”

And, when I saw that spouse a few minutes after my mediation he just gave me a big hug. And I said, “apology accepted.” (Although, given the smirk on his face, I don’t think there was any thought of apologizing for there was probably nothing to apologize for from his perspective. – and that’s fine, too.)

Love!

Day Three: Emotional Maturity?

I’ve been contemplating this idea of Emotional Maturity. What is it?

It came up in Sri Sri’s discussion of Chapter 2 of the Bhagavad Gita where Arjuna is basically whining to Krishna about having to fight this battle. He lacks emotional maturity in that moment and it’s up to Krishna to “wake him up.” (Which Krishna does by “poking” at Arjuna’s ego.  --- “Hey, man!” Krishna prods – I loosely quote here, - “Pull yourself together. What will people think of you? A prince behaving like this! Come on.”  And then Krishna takes him to a deeper inquiry of “Who are you? Where are you? What are you?”

Do I have emotional maturity? Do I stay centered and calm even when anger, jealousy, fear, greed, etc., come passing by?  Well….not always…but, more and more!

Chetana gave me an opportunity to practice last night when she woke for the third time (very unusual for our Little Pea who 99.99% of the time sleeps 10-hour shifts). At the third waking I was suddenly without patience and annoyed, “Chetana. Shhhhhh! Quiet! Mommy needs to sleep.”

Did this bring sudden calm & quiet from my sweetie? Of course not. Who would respond calmly & sweetly to an agitated accusation, as it were, of sleep sabatoge. She cried. That made my heart feel heavy – I’ve only once before said something so strongly that she cried.

This was my moment of lacking Emotional Maturity – luckily & with Grace, I saw it right away. Where was my equanimity? Easy to see when you’re angry at a sweety pie who has no idea what is wrong with making noises in the middle of the night and has 0 lack of intention of doing anything “wrong.”

Wake up call for me!

I immediately found myself back at my center – calm and collected.

“Chetana, Sweetie. I’m going to put you back in your bed, Love, so you can sleep.”

And lowering her into her crib, she rolled to her side and gently fell off to sleep.

Emotional Maturity on both our parts!