Day 23: Friends / Family, Day 7 – It is what it is.

11:02 AM – Birthday card hand delivered to our neighbor in celebration of her 80^th Birthday~

8:21 PM – over dinner my mom & I recall my childhood friends.

Wisdom:

It’s easy to say “Oh, I’m this way because such & such happened to me when…” or “I’m like this because I did [you name it] as a kid…”  That’s really a useless game – 1. Of sifting through the past to see what caused what --- useless; 2. Of saying “oh, it happened to me…I am the victim…I am like this because…” ---- useless.

Whatever happened has happened. Over done. Kaput. And, in blaming something/someone, etc., we are putting ourselves at the “mercy” of the situation. We are weakened. Taking responsibility is power. This is what is. And this is what I do now. And that’s just how it is.  So much power is available to us when we are just with whatever “is.” Then we can act with clarity. We’re not reacting or looking for others to solve our problems.  Off we go…into the wild blue yonder!

Day 22: Friendliness/Belongingness, Day 6 – Family By Choice

6:12 PM – We’re saying our good nights to everyone at Teaism – Chetana’s Savta (Grandmother), Uncle Matt & Aunt Rach, Cousins Sam & Ida, Big Cousins Tracey & Lela. This is family. And, it’s Family by Choice. Usually “Family By Choice” is for folks we think of as family who happened not to be “blood relations.” But, I see that you can also choose your family to be “like family.” I choose you! 

Day 21: Friendliness Belongingness, Day 5 – The More We Get Together

6:05 PM Wow! I witness Beloningness in action. We’re with Chetana at the Saturday Night Satsang in the Art of Living Center in DC. She spent the last hour being passed from arms to arms of folks many of whom she’s not met before & smiling and laughing. From one Aunty to the next! (And Uncles, too.)

Now as we’re all smiling and chanting Sanskrit Bhajans (songs) she’s crawling around the room waiting to catch people’s eyes – if they are closed in delightful singing – and smiling and crawling into a lap and across a leg and on and on. The whole world is her family! And, that means we’re all one family, isn’t it!

Day 20: Friendliness, Day 4 – Hugs Are for Arms

10:48AM – I’m speaking with someone I’ve only just met & I just want to giver her a hug! Just a big “I love you!” hug for no reason. Yet, I hesitate and don’t. We finish our pleasantries & she gives me a great big hug! And I love it! Yay for her sense of belongingness!

Which takes us to one of my favorite poems by one of my favorite writers from one of my favorite books:

                         Hug O’War

I will not play at tug o'war. I'd rather play at hug o'war, Where everyone hugs Instead of tugs, Where everyone giggles And rolls on the rug, Where everyone kisses, And everyone grins, And everyone cuddles, And everyone wins.

By Shel Silverstein From Where the Sidewalk Ends

Day 19: Friendliness, Day 3 – "I Belong to you!"

Got it! It’s not about what I DO to be Friendly. It’s how I experience myself as connected to the whole wide world. Yes? And, it’s not just Friendliness – which I do really well with (even with my eyes closed). It’s about that feeling of Belonging. “I belong to you!” Get that & you've got the whole game figured out. Boy, oh, boy. To really get that “I belong to you.” What would that look like?

When a car goes by our house, I tell Chatie “There goes our neighbor in a blue car.” Or “There goes our neighbor in a black car.” That way it’s not just relating to the metal box on wheels, but to the person in the car. Can I relate to everyone I see (and don’t see) as Mishpacha? Familia? My people? Not by measuring what I do, but in my heart. Wow, that just makes me smile to think about life from that point of view. Chatie’s world experience is that, isn’t it. Let's be one who fosters that oneness in her that knows the whole world and everyone in it to belong to her. May she foster that spark in me, too. 

Day 18: Friendliness, Day 2 – “Ahoy There, Neighbor!”

We’re notching up the friendliness meter. Today? Made sure to introduce ourselves to all the other kids & grown ups at the reading circle. Stopped the car & got out to say hello to our neighbor only to discover she’s celebrating her 80^th Birthday on Saturday – Yahoo!

To be honest…I don’t think I’ve sent the Friendliness Meter off the charts. I’ve upped the top note a bit, but not through the roof – which is what I’m asking of myself.

Shine the Spotlight on Me!

Well, it’s more than Friendliness here. It’s Belongingness. (If that’s not a word, than let it now be so.) A sense of belonging. Like when I saw my friend after 20 years & we just fell into our old rhythm. That’s family. That’s belongingness. Not just pleasantries and “Hello, How are you.” But taking it to where Chetana is.

“That lady over there is as much my Cousin as my cousin,” Chetana would say if she could say. “I love everyone! I am love.” All babies got it. Which means all adults had it --- and, in fact, still have it. So, it’s just hiding in there under layers of EGO. “What if they laugh at me…” And all that stuff.

The Great Fear of Humiliation. Biggest fear there is --- public speaking. Why? Humiliation. Ego. Can’t get rid of your ego. And, for goodness sake, don’t try to. Just tuck it into your pocket.

So…Onward, Love Warrior! In Peace & Belongingness & Love! Let’s experience One World Family!

Day 17: The Whole World Belongs to You (and Me)

Still thinking about friendliness. It’s a quality of enlightenment - that childlike openness to the whole world. Do I still got it? I see it in Chetana and I sense her watching me to see what to do with it. When we walk by our neighbors, do I say hello? Do I stop and chat? What about folks we pass in the grocery store? And the library? They all belong to Chetana…and to me.

Let’s throw it to the wind & see what happens.

Can I – a relatively friendly and open person – take it one step further? Without being a whacko that scares folks, can I just be “at home” in every single situation?

So, within my 30 Day challenge of “Throwing Light of Life,” I am creating a 10- day sub-challenge of un-bounded friendliness, belongingness with the whole wide world – person to person.

Starting....Now! 1...2...3...Go!