Day 8, Part 2: Bored in the Head

1:24 PM

Chopping vegetables. I am so lonely. I am so alone. I am alone. This stinks.

Wisdom?

Wisdom…? Wisdom…? Hmmm…

1:47 PM

Confirming friends on facebook. I don’t like being alone. I am all alone. I don’t know what to do…

Wisdom?

Silence

1:52 PM

Stopped the activity. Sitting outside looking out into the garden. Am I really lonely? Hmm…actually, I’m bored. Hmmm…

Wisdom, find me now!

Well, bored is really a state of mind and has nothing to do with what I’m doing. Looking up into the treetops and into the sky. Ahhhh…lovely. Deep, full breaths into the belly. Ahhh….my Prana is coming up and I’m feeling alive again. I can be sitting in the garden bored or I can be sitting in the garden pleased as pie that I can just sit in the garden with nothing to do. Amazing.

Boredom has nothing to do with what actions I’m engaged in. It’s all about the state of my mind. Wow. I’m feeling so much more alive right now. Awareness – turning my attention to what is going on – is life, is being alive. It’s when I’m in my head babbling away on empty thoughts that I’m not “present” / in the present moment – and then my Prana takes a nose dive. Amazing.

Just shifting my awareness to the present moment with a little shake of wisdom on top has taken me out of the “poor me” game. I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. Jai Guru Dev. Victory to the Big, Smiling, Playful Mind. 

Science of Breath (S.K.Y): Effective stress relief through the breath.

Check out this fabulous video from the Art of Living Foundation, founded by our dearest Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.

Day 8: “Sorry Starbucks. No work for you here.”

5:?? AM

“What time is it?....Are you sure?...Is it really?”

That’s the way I woke up this morning. Well, first to Chatie’s little “I’m up!” sounds. Very sweet. But, I was still tired. Couldn’t quite get my eyes to open. And, I’m on duty as Chatie’s first stop in the morning is me – Breakfast! Yes, I don’t need to be fully awake for her to enjoy her milk, but from there it’s a climbing fest and there’s no sleeping through that. How to get these peepers to open? Coffee? It’s forever given me the shakes. So, I haven’t had a caffeinated drink more than once or twice in my life. This morning I’m looking for a quick wake-me-up. What to do?

Solution!

Sukshma yoga! Fingertips to scalp and massage! Thumb & index finger gently pinching eyebrows and run the fingers straight out towards the temples. One finger around the bottom of the eye – under the eye socket. Gently, yet energetically massage the jaw. Tug the earlobes down. Pull the top of the ears straight up. Pull straight out on the ears. Feet! Arms, legs. Quick. Vigorous. Lovingly. 2 minutes was all I had before Chetana needed a climbing hand. It worked. All smiles! Yippee!

Day 7 : Manana – The Week in Review

1:23 PM

Well, is it working? I figure I should check-in on the wisdom gained this week and see if it’s sticking. Manana is the “chewing” of the knowledge in the mind - going back again & again to the knowledge. Let’s chew!

Wisdom, Where for Art Thou?

Day 1: Being with What Is: I give myself an A+ (I love A+’s!) for keeping cool when the mind has said, “Oh no! This is a problem.” Even this very moment Chetana is contemplating napping (I hear chattering) rather than napping and I’m calm, cool, collected. What will be, will be. And we’ll move on.

Day 2: Annoyed with Annoyed: Oh, I’ll give myself another A+. (I’m so sweet.) Yes, I am aware of having observed the sensations of rising-up “annoyed” in my body and not getting hooked into being annoyed. I am the witness. Koo Koo Kachoo.

Day 3:Unplugging to Plug in: Oh, is there something bigger than an A+? Give it to me! I’ve been really good about stop, drop & roll into meditation to get centered when I’ve got the fever to Go! Go! Go! and am being just a jumpin’ jack of getting nowhere.

Day 4: Speak Slowly & Listen: Another A+ moment. (Is the grader biased? Perhaps a wee bit.) But, I did! I have slowed way down and stopped myself many times from thinking “Oh, I know what I’ll say next. Me next! Me next!” and instead dropped the thoughts to listen. Pause. Respond. It’s Revolutionary!

Day 5: Feelin’ Hip!: Hmmm, I’ll give myself an B for this one. Not for what you may think. I noticed in re-spotlighting that moment that I was a bit more rajastic / antsy and not so saatvic/centered. I do get credit, though, for checking the Prana chart again & again. This is a great example of Manana - Chewing the Knowledge has pushed me to go deeper into understanding. Does that make my B a B+? Oh, sure.

Day 6: Icky in the Belly = Icky in the Mind: Oh, indeed I get an A here – although, not an A+. I have been cooking fresh, healthy, veggies. However, I know my potential is greater than what I’ve been doing. Good show. More to go!

And that is the week in review. 

Day 6: Icky in Belly = Icky in Mind

12:22 PM

Yipes! My tummy doesn’t feel so good. I bought some veggie dumplings from a café near my yoga class. Icky in the belly. They weren’t so fresh. They weren’t so tasty. And I ate them anyway. Oh, Boy! It’s nothing drastic like outdated food or food poisoning. It’s just isn’t Saatvic /fresh /delicious.

Wisdom:

Take the time to cook something fresh. I know that if I make something a priority, I can get it done. And food is SO important – obviously. When I do this to my belly, I remind myself that my mood may later be low or negative because tamasic or old/stale/low Prana foods are the energy for the mind, too. This helps me out later when I’m thinking, “Boy, what got into me? I’m so testy.” 

Day 5: Feelin' Hip!

8:42 AM

I’m smiley. I feel “up to the moon.” I get where the saying “on cloud 9” comes from because I feel E X P A N D E D to the clouds. JOY! When happy we feel expanded. And when sad – contracted. Well, label me Joy!

Wisdom Here?

Indeed! Good to check in & make note of what pushed my Prana (life force energy) up. I do this check in usually when I’m spiraling down in moods. But, here’s a chance to look at “up.” I’ll walk you through my formula:

Fist Step: Ask myself, “Is my Prana high? Or low?”

Low Prana = Tired, negative thoughts coming up, low moods, depressed, annoyed with every little thing (even before they happen), snappy, etc.

High Prana = Energized, feeling alive!, Positive thoughts bubbling up, happy, content, sweet, "oh, it's ok," etc.

Second Step: Take Action by checking in with the Prana Chart 


Prana Check-in Chart  

The 4 Sources of Energy/Prana	Check in	Solution
Food & Water	Did I eat well? Fresh foods in the right amounts? Am I hydrated?	*Eat something healthy. *Drink some water.
Sleep / Activity	Did I get 8 hours of sleep? Am I exercising? Doing enough yoga?	*Go to sleep earlier. *Take a walk. *Ride the exercise bike. *Do yoga!
Breath	Am I taking full breaths? Or am I shallow breathing in the chest & not the lower lungs?	*Do pranayama – yogic breathing! e.g., Alternate nostril breathing, or some good long, slow breaths from the belly.
Calm, Meditative Mind	Have I been honoring my meditations by giving myself enough time & a good place to do them? Am I in the company of folks who uplift me?	*Meditate! *Go hang out with people who are saatvic – centered, loving, in joy & celebration. *Read wisdom-filled words of the wise & get a new perspective.

So, what was it for me that raised my Prana? I added in an excellent yoga class the day before. But, most of all? I started this blog and that has kept my head in “inquiry” and “wonder”! I'm giving myself a Calm, Cool Meditative Mind = Fabu!

Day 4: Speak slowly. Listen.

Day 4:

Spotlight: 9:05 AM

Our wonderful babysitter arrives and I’m rattling off words and facts…without listening. Neither to what I’m saying nor to what she is saying – even in response to questions I’m asking. This is nothing new with me. But today as I’m driving off to yoga class, I’m wondering what it’s all about.

Wisdom Uncovered:

Well, it’s that rushing thing. And rushing through a conversation just leaves me feeling more rushed and frantic. I’ve noticed the person I’m talking to also starts talking fast and, like me, not finishing their sentences. We end up not talking to each other, but talking at each other. End Game: Exhaustion.     New Game: S l o w   d o w n…s l o w…listen…listen… Aha! When I'm formulating my next comment and waiting to throw in my "listen to what I have to say!" then it will inevitably be a volley of words and not a response as I've not even heard what was said. Ahoy! And, silence is golden. My dear Guruji says the purpose of words is to lead to silence…silence the thoughts in the mind. Bingo! Jai Gurudev!

Meditation - Then and Now

This is one of my favorite little jaunts into "What is meditation."
It's a few minutes of cuteness & fun. Enjoy!

Day 3: Unplugging to Plug In

Day 3:

Spotlighted Moment

2:05 PM 

Chatie is napping and I’m feeling anxious. Rushing. Rushing. Rushing. I’ve hurried two friends off the phone. Rushed with squinting eyes through a web search for “chanting for kids” and…. It would go on and on. But I’ve stopped. Cold turkey. Pulled the plug on the “busy-ness” and “doership.” That “I’ve-got-to-hurry-up-and-get-it-all-done-before-she-wakes-up! – ness.”

Wisdom! Find me now!

Hmmm…Well, pulling the plug on the “busy” or, as yogis say, “rajastic” mind is the way to go here to get back to a “centered” or “saatvic” mind. (Feeling “dull” in the head and lazy in the body is the sign of a “tamasic” mind.) I may be moving fast, but I’m really spinning my wheels and just getting more and more anxious. I’m finishing this sentence, putting down the computer, closing my eyes & meditating.

2:38 PM

Here’s to meditation! Twenty minutes, twice a day. Makes me the Mommy I am today. Send every mom, pregnant woman…everyone…to learn Sahaj Samdhi in the Art of Meditation Course. I didn’t “unplug.” I actually “plugged in” to my wealth of silence and focus and calm and infinite energy inside me.  My mind is now so focused, calm and feels super efficient. I’m going to get on the phone with the cable company now…no exhaustion in me. I say it again – Jai Gurudev – Victory to the Big, Playful, Wise Mind.

Need a meditation now? There a wonderful bunch of online guided meditations by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar - some as short as 7 minutes, if that's what you've got. But, don't jip yourself out of a longer meditation!

Day 2: Annoyed with Annoyed

Day 2:

Spotlight:

4:46 PM & again at 5:54 PM

Chetana is squirming away from me as I’m doing what I can to sweetly & lovingly & firmly assert that it’s time for milk. New look at an old saying: “you can bring a baby to milk, but you can’t make her drink.” The more she squirms, the more annoyed I’m feeling. And “annoyed” seems to be snowballing itself into more & more annoyed and less and less patient. There’s nothing to do here but to let her be and know that she’ll not starve & she’ll drink when she is ready.

What a Light-bulb-“aha!”-moment!

When I shine light on this scene I see something I wasn’t aware of. I am not annoyed with Chetana at all in these moments. She’s just acting from innocence and doing what her body needs to do in the moment. Then what am I annoyed with? This is it: The feelings that arise in me when things aren’t going “my way” are annoying! And I resist them. And, what I resist persists. Can I be the witness to these experiences, emotions, sensations, feelings? Can I just allow them to be – without aversion nor craving. Again and again coming back to this knowledge. As we say in our Art of Living family – Jai Gurudev! Victory to the Wise & Playful Big Mind! Yahoo! Jai Gurudev!

Day 1: Being with What Is

Day 1:

1st Moment in the Spotlight                

6:30 PM

Leaving Chetana (now 8 months old) with a babysitter last night brought up all sorts of fears --- even before I left the house. In fact, days before I left the house I could picture a screaming scene of little Chetana looking for Mommy & Mommy is not there! “Mommy Failure Fears” a-hoy! No doubts about the baby sitter’s abilities. All about me failing my baby.

The “Aha!” Moment of Wisdom

Yes, Chetana may wake up and look for Mommy. Mommy may not be there. Chetana may be upset and cry and cry and scream and cry and even go into one of those fits where she sounds like she can’t breathe she’s crying so hard.  And…Chetana will be OK. She will be upset. And then she will be OK. That’s it. End of story.